Love Story (Poetry)

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I lay my head

in the space where you slept

I feel the weight of your memory

your kiss

the smell of your arms, and

the way you speak:

 

And do you remember when you

threw me against the wall

slapped my face

choked me and called me names

when you spat at my feet

and rubbed the mud on my cheeks

when you told me to sit down

while I watched you leave.

Why?

–Words by Teegee Villanueva

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Confessions (Poetry)

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the cross lingers

high above the confessional

it looms, leering

 

And beneath it, the cavity

where the voice of the consecrated profligate speaks

with an urgency not immediately divine;

the man speaks with the urgency of a shrew

 

what is your name, priest?

what are your sins

have you confessed them to the Lord

professed servility to the word?

Did you consume a rosary

plug your arteries, with pages from the Holy Book

apologized to the angels

offered a sacrifice, crucified a child

 

You are made of the same flesh

infested by the same wiles, marked by the same sins

who are you to judge?

–Poetry and photography by Teegee Villanueva

For Peter, My Ghost (Poetry)

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Peter old friend

we are only human

we are made of dust

from Adam’s soil: ashes

creatures of chance

unable to cope

unable to see

blind to the world

and the bridges put forth before us,

we are damned

to suffer, one way or another

to rest everlasting, to end.

But we are glorious

even when we come undone

and the world will always remember

the songs we wrote

for Alice, for Emma

for women we do not even know

–Words by Teegee Villanueva

Full Moon (Poetry)

philistines-jpglarge

Unravel: as they come

Horses

Drums

A funeral march

 

A coffin, a hammer

A nail and a kiss

A sip from a poisoned chalice

 

Why,

Do I put myself through this?

I am trapped and isolated

Four white walls enclose me,

Vibrating with an ever quickening pulse;

The floors catch my menses

And the tear that refuses to fall

 

I am tired, black death

I am a specter without a name

Floating amongst the living:

Listless among the dead

***

Painting by Jean-Michel Basquiat, words by Teegee Villanueva

 

First Night

neededme

I stare at my reflection

in the mirror that you gave me

I cannot forget when you were last inside me

stuck, immobile–

your love was a curse .

 

And I cannot forget the first night

we spent together–you and me, in the room

in the space we called our home

when you said goodnight

when I gave good head and meant it–

but your youth always alarmed me.

 

You remind me of my father, a liar

lies all lies, until the angels took his life

his tongue, an instrument

to please a missus who wasn’t his wife;

like my father, you broke my heart

and like my father, I forgave you

but like my mother, I will always remember

the lie you said in September.

–Anthony, 2016

Notes on a Suicide (Poetry)

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Let me linger for a moment

Let me remember

Let me find wisdom in the waves

Let me drown in it.

***

I can hear the water curling at the seams

pockets, pockets, full of stones

a walk, a hop, a body it seems

floating lifeless in the water

and lifeless it drifts to shore

Words and photography by Teegee Villanueva

The Giving Tree, Part 1 (Poetry)

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You were always the one

you always took precedence

over everything

my soul

my heart

and yet you remain quiet

absent and defiant

why?

what have i done?

 

Did I hurt you

–on purpose?

Did I make you feel small

–on purpose?

Was it my silence?

My disregard?

My carelessness?

Answer me.

 

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Artworks by Dyck Cedino, Poetry by Teegee Villanueva

Tongues (Poetry)

manontheedge

This poem is about you
your big nose
your perfect teeth
your heavy eyes
your humble lips

I miss you.
On quiet nights
when your legs
were wrapped around mine
when our tongues
spoke a language,
only lovers could mime

What happened to us?
to you, my solitude?
solace of every passing summer
the peace of every dreary winter
are you there?
do you still care?

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Words and photography by Teegee Villanueva

Sweet Love (Poetry)

oldwoman

I have a feeling in my gut

stomach in funky knots

words I want to vomit but I won’t.

I would rather listen.

 

Hardly a woman I make

I’m hardly a man at all

but I know when I am being tested

I know when I am being duped

I can tell when your sentences are warped

into fractured phrases,

when your lie becomes God’s honest truth

 

Sweet love, are you cheating on me?

 

Words and photography by Teegee Villanueva. Photographed at Bacolod City, 2016.

Voices (Poetry)

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Do you hear me?

Crying alone in the wilderness

For my mother

For my mother’s mother

For her sister, her brother

Myself

My soul

 

Are you there?

Do you hear it? My voice

Can you hear it?

Lurching in the dark

Crowing and yearning

For nothing;

For it never meant anything

To anyone

But me

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Poetry by Teegee Villanueva; Photography by Teegee Villanueva. Photographed at Bacolod City, Philippines.