Love Story (Poetry)

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I lay my head

in the space where you slept

I feel the weight of your memory

your kiss

the smell of your arms, and

the way you speak:

 

And do you remember when you

threw me against the wall

slapped my face

choked me and called me names

when you spat at my feet

and rubbed the mud on my cheeks

when you told me to sit down

while I watched you leave.

Why?

–Words by Teegee Villanueva

First Night

neededme

I stare at my reflection

in the mirror that you gave me

I cannot forget when you were last inside me

stuck, immobile–

your love was a curse .

 

And I cannot forget the first night

we spent together–you and me, in the room

in the space we called our home

when you said goodnight

when I gave good head and meant it–

but your youth always alarmed me.

 

You remind me of my father, a liar

lies all lies, until the angels took his life

his tongue, an instrument

to please a missus who wasn’t his wife;

like my father, you broke my heart

and like my father, I forgave you

but like my mother, I will always remember

the lie you said in September.

–Anthony, 2016

Notes on a Suicide (Poetry)

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Let me linger for a moment

Let me remember

Let me find wisdom in the waves

Let me drown in it.

***

I can hear the water curling at the seams

pockets, pockets, full of stones

a walk, a hop, a body it seems

floating lifeless in the water

and lifeless it drifts to shore

Words and photography by Teegee Villanueva

The Giving Tree, Part 1 (Poetry)

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You were always the one

you always took precedence

over everything

my soul

my heart

and yet you remain quiet

absent and defiant

why?

what have i done?

 

Did I hurt you

–on purpose?

Did I make you feel small

–on purpose?

Was it my silence?

My disregard?

My carelessness?

Answer me.

 

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Artworks by Dyck Cedino, Poetry by Teegee Villanueva

Spurn (Poetry)

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Are you really worth the trouble

The wait

The glory and the devotion?

Are you a religion

A god, my God?

My savior and redeemer?

 

Like a seed

Implanted in rich soil

You sprout out tendrils

That reach out;

they come at me

With knives,

they hold me hostage

 

You play with my emotions

And what a cruel thing to do—

Who the fuck do you think you are?

 

Words, photography by Teegee Villanueva

Tongues (Poetry)

manontheedge

This poem is about you
your big nose
your perfect teeth
your heavy eyes
your humble lips

I miss you.
On quiet nights
when your legs
were wrapped around mine
when our tongues
spoke a language,
only lovers could mime

What happened to us?
to you, my solitude?
solace of every passing summer
the peace of every dreary winter
are you there?
do you still care?

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Words and photography by Teegee Villanueva

Love Strokes (Poetry)

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I think about you

I thought about you in my sleep last night

yet you were not where you were

in the waking hour

and so I was left to wander.

The halls of this house

half-naked, half-awake,

I look for signs of life:

a smell, a voice

a string of your hair

a body, your body

hanging from a precipice

why are you hiding?

what are you hiding?

you, are the love of my life.

 

Poetry and photography by Teegee Villanueva. Photographed in Bacolod City, Philippines. July, 2016

Sweet Love (Poetry)

oldwoman

I have a feeling in my gut

stomach in funky knots

words I want to vomit but I won’t.

I would rather listen.

 

Hardly a woman I make

I’m hardly a man at all

but I know when I am being tested

I know when I am being duped

I can tell when your sentences are warped

into fractured phrases,

when your lie becomes God’s honest truth

 

Sweet love, are you cheating on me?

 

Words and photography by Teegee Villanueva. Photographed at Bacolod City, 2016.

Nicotine Lips (Poetry)

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Black tar

Nicotine lips

Lips as fine as sand.

I long to kiss

Lips like mine

I long to feel

With my thumb, with my thumb

With my own bare hands, the history;

Or just a pair of lips to rub against

Whenever the moon turns blue

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Poetry and Photography by Teegee Villanueva. Photographed at Bacolod City, July 2016

 

Afterglow (Poetry)

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It was late in the fall
or the middle of winter, I thought:
when the trees outside were white.
when I held your manhood in my hands
and fed upon it
the first time.

what followed was as white as snow
not quite in the afterglow
but you looked alright
as pale as Snow White.

Photography and poetry by Teegee Villanueva