Gay Problems

gay relationships, same-sex relationships, relationship advice

Being gay and in a relationship isn’t easy in this city, where, in spire of the fact that segments of the larger population are accepting  of same-sex partnerships as part of the norm, some of us  prefer to “grow together” as couples in relative privacy. As in: locked away in a room or a lodging house, afraid to be found out.

My partner and I are discreet. We don’t ever talk about “us” to our friends. We pretend to lead separate, single lives, and we meet occasionally in secret–once, or twice every other week at home or somewhere chary. We bond, fight, laugh, gorge on gossip rags, and dissect our friends’ Facebook status updates like ladies who tea.

I understand same-sex relationships collapse largely because one partner prefers to keep the arrangement hush hush (in the closet). But we survive–we cope. Or we try to. We cook and we clean after ourselves but I worry all the same. I do not want to stay discreet forever, it’s not healthy and it’s not a lifestyle I espouse; I’ve been open about relationships, and my sexuality in particular, for as long as I can remember.

I just want to kiss and cuddle him in public I guess, wave him around like a flag, and the throng can stare for as long as they’d like. There is nothing strange or unbecoming when two men (two consulting adults mind you) elect to express their love for each other publicly.

Please make no distinction between heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Love is love.




City of Smiles


Stray observations

  1. Bacolod is a bore. That’s not to say the city isn’t nice, there just isn’t a lot to do. I went to see The Ruins in Talisay and visited the San Sebastian Church, and they were both incredibly beautiful, but that was it: pure spectacle (I wanted to see Murcia but it was out of the way and I really was short on time). The capitol grounds and the lagoon were overdone but the two bronze sculptures that flanked each other were beautiful.
  2. I got lost just now. I was out looking for a 7/11 to buy water and iced coffee, and I completely lost track of everything after a while. And I was terrified because I ran into a couple of drunks and they were making gestures, calling for me, asking for my head (I think). Thank God for the pedicab driver.
  3. The people from Bacolod are pretty polite. And helpful. They will go out of their way to tell you the history of their people, a monument, something about the Lacsons, anything. They’re proud Negrenses and I love them for it.

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More photos to come.

Photography by Teegee Villanueva, 2016.